Henry is very quick to go down for a nap and rarely cries or complains. But when he does cry himself to sleep, I get an interesting reminder of who I am as a father.
My dad worries. He worries constantly.
In so many ways, I am my dad. I hear Henry and then I don’t and I worry. Did he fall asleep or something else?
And, why did he not wake up on time. He always wakes up by 6:00 am and it is already 6:20 am. Why is he not awake?
My dad trained me to worry. My mom worries as well, but for this I am going to give my dad credit.
I know where my dad is coming from. My dad has actually experienced loss. He lost his mother at an early age. He lost his father too early too. He lost a daughter to SIDS and then lost another daughter. Both were infants and younger than Henry is now. I am not sure how he was able to recover, but he had a wife and child. Later, he had a second child. He had no choice.
I have experienced almost no loss.
I do trust my son. He is barely seven months old, but I already have so much faith in him. He is already so strong. He exercises good judgement. He is wise (if that is possible). But I worry when I hear the sound of silence.